ants

today i saw ants crawling over the yellow dustbin that stands by the bench next to mine. I wondered why they were so attracted to all that rubbish.. maybe it could be because they were so small they only saw like teeny bits of the rubbish and so they thought it was actually good stuff? then it hit me maybe we're just like those ants, desperately searching/chasing for this 'good stuff' (like maybe academics haha) but when when you look at the big picture it's actually a pile of rubbish..

guess what i'm trying to say is not to get too caught up over such things.. get so stressed and worried and depressed about it. when its really nothing. like a levels. hmm don't thing that qualifies as nothing though.. ok i dunno whether i'm making sense. having a troubled time now.. for no reason, really. cant stop hating myself.

laugh
smile
but ohsobleak eyes

the mood continues

i admire people who stay true to themselves because i cant.
i'm so pissed being a hypocrite.

shit

this is the worst week i've had, period.
as a fitting end, the screen of my hp has cracked too.

sigh

I C D P
I S K U
Y F F E
M L E U





dt ihouldnt surt hut bt ioes

halfday

hc doesnt give enough halfdays such that when one actually comes around people don't know what to do with the sudden freedom and most disappear back to their homes instantly (omg i've never gone home so early before) others (like me) linger around and attempt to mug while the rarity (blissfully denying the existence of prelims) do the right thing and go out and enjoy themselves..

stupid evil witch pissed me off, ruined my mood for the rest of the day. thanks i really didnt need your sarcastic order, bitch; now i have a reason to curse you in my sleep (and watch my karma enter negative territory). If its none of your business, please don't stick your crooked nose where its not wanted unless you want it further bent. rarr

...

argh i feel so hopeless.
i thought after nats, i would be relieved of all tension, of all stresses (cept studying), no more emo periods. dont know what i was thinking cause that was really naive of me.

how come i worry so much
i couldnt sleep last night

and damnit why i cant i do anything about it


pissed. need to smack more pingpong balls

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

INDULGE

today discovered totally sinful comfort food in the form of deep fried mars bars with ice cream.

omg total sugar rush.

yes today my calorie intake is reaching the millions whee~

vodka, dfmbs, spicy chicken with cheese, icecream...
comps are over, let the gluttony begin!

dsasda

watched harry potter just now, found it to be quite ok contrary to expectations, but some people may beg to differ.

then unexpectedly ran into clement on the bus home.. we've been kinda like looking at each other in that do-i-know-you-from-somewhere manner, but never talked. this time he sat next to me and we had a nice chat. apparently he was in 2I in ny so that explains it.

i feel weird shutting up the whole night then being able to talk freely with a near total stranger.

CANOEIST IS TEH SEKS

haha i dunno who thought of this but it sounds pretty funny.

whew.
its over!
no more canoeing.
no more twist kick push
no more lock your arms, raise your elbow
no more shou tai gao, shou shen chu qu

haha sounds so weird.

no more getting burnt
no more red eyes cos of splashing water
no more abrasions and scars on my butt
no more drinking macritchie water
no more protein/magic milo/horsepower/horsoline/glucotine/gatorade
no more waking up at 6 to run
no more pullups at the pullup bar
no more team lunch at curry wok
no more waking up early on sat
no more waking up with my whole body aching

a big chunk of my life has just ended.
sigh

last night i couldnt slp not cos i was nervous but just thinking how on earth we were going to pull off such a major upset. but in the end we couldnt :(

at first, night before tues, i was so nervous. although only aiman was the real danger in my heat, i was still damn scared of some random guy frm random jc popping out and backstabbing me. but turned out my fears were unfounded, though i still got lup by him.

after that i was real calm, even though had boongan n teoguangyi in semis.. i was even trying to make myself abit more concerned before the race. got 3rd as expected, felt pretty gd knocking a nj guy out, but abit concerned when boon couldnt beat tgy. then we had our second loss of tim n malcolm.. quite unexpected. guess we should have played positioning cos justin was also in their semis. they were friggin upset bout it. and then there was the amazing comeback of damien which got the whole team damm high and our morale was out of this world.

finally today..
i could say we started pretty well. boon 2nd me 4th. i guess no one was giving me a chance cos they all acted as though i won or something. and that made me feel pretty gd haha. something about a gay end burst and shaun shouting 'that was a fucking good race!' but maybe he was referring to the 3 boats in front that were owning my ass. but i beat vasim! the guy who beat boon last yr! though admittedly he is much weaker now, but still

MASSIVE PERSONAL ACHIEVEMENT

haha ok i still abit high. according to chengyi, i am 3rd in order of happiness lol. behind ryan/nick and yanlong/marcus of course

i guess its all relative? i mean, in april at njcc i didnt even get pass the heats.
yaya i dsa supposed to do well.. what the shit. cmon man the top 3 - 2 nat team and one guy who repeatedly rejects nat team.

the rest of the day was a blur.. chengyi damn emokid cos he got third and thought he let the team down but i thought he was amazing especially since he lup BOK GUAN lol. and paul really down too.. crazy nick got his gold and so did yanlong n marcus.. really happy for them but in the end still wasnt enough and we finished 2nd overall. oh and bob got third! and imba gay scout yunle got 2nd though he oso damm pissed w himself.

after that, went back to mac to wait for boats to arrive.. for 3 FRIGGING HOURS. wtf. seriously fucking lorry drivers just lagging their asses to get OT pay faggots. so we stoning there.. play psp play pullup game.. the pullup corner became sort of emo corner - chengyi, yunle, niklas, chiajone... chiajone got really fired up started doing 15 matrix trng for nxt yr haha. wish them luck man its gonna get even tougher. haha then the craziness started we took out medicine ball and played touch rug which quickly degenerated into full contact rugby. then paul had to go rescue the ball cause it rolled into the reservoir hahah. chengyi, nik and shaun went crazy with a hammer and started uprooting stumps next to our shed and accidently decimated an ants nest. it was pitch black when the boats finally came, had to cancel our booking at hard rock cafe by then :( got damn high everytime a lorry came, everybody juss chiong.. matthew can run damn fast with a k1 it looks hilarious

aft tt go j8 eat ajisen. got veh veh full haha. and justin pia chili haha his whole face swollen lol. had a very good time.

six years..

ITS OVER
bittersweet

satire

according to the logic of some people, i should be around the height of yao ming had i lived in the US of A.

last trng at mac

today last trng at mac
tmr last trng forever.
time passes so damn fast. hope i've made good use of it.

hurhur

hoho i just got a nikeplus thingy and went to run with it omg so cool la hahahah. when i got it i was so excited just went to run at 10pm and my mom and sis thot i was siao. the sensor was pretty ex but i dun mind its my money anyway. i think it really gives added incentive to run, something i'll need to stop me from getting imba fat after season. i'm drinking so much sweeet stuff now im gonna get diabetes soon.. gotta cut down!

got back maths and physics so far, really happy w my results, considering my effort in studying. in fact i feel abit guilty when e rest arent doin too well. and dammit stupid canoe guys say i get E for maths den cannot win, must get U.wtf. E is bad enough!

ahh didnt train today, feel really weird. like weak, flabby. but my body needs rest so forced myself to stay at home and play pokemon! ok im lying bout e 'forced' part. but seriously, pokemon is funnn...

tmr will be last training at macritchie?
....
i think i'm actually gonna miss the place

randomness

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question. And there you have it...

01 How does the world see me? Take Me Out

02 Will I have a happy life? Try

03 What do my friends really think of me? Come Fly With Me

04 Do people secretly lust after me? Extraordinary

05 How can you be happy? Together

06 What should I do with my life? I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day

07 Why must life be so full of pain? 11:11 P.M.

08 Will I ever have children? Qian Nu You Huen (wtf?!)

09 Will I die happy? Catch My Disease

10 What is some good advice for me? Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

11 What is happiness? Shine We Are!

12 What's my favourite fetish? E-Pro

13 How will I be remembered? Way Back Into Love

14 What is your love life like? Armor For Sleep

15 What's your life motto? Stuck In A Moment

16 What do your parents think of you? Say Goodbye

17 What's your favourite hobby? Blue Moon

18 What does your best friend really think of you? Ban Shou Ren

19 What's the worst thing about you? There Is

20 Describe your mind. Selfish

21 How will you die? My Band

22 How does your crush feel about you? Breathe

23 What is your wedding going to be like? I'll Be Damned

24 What about your honeymoon? Self Reliance

25 Describe the last day of your life. Spice of Life

26 Why does life suck? So this is Christmas

27 Why does life rule? Numb

28 What will you be famous for? Bei Feng Chui Guo De Xia Tian

29 What's the craziest thing you'll ever do? Wonderful Christmas Time

30 Will you achieve your goals? Bigger Boys and Stolen Sweethearts

31 What will your future job be like? Happy Together

32 Your party life? Floorfiller

33 Overall, will you be happy? Bastard

34 Or will you just deal with it? The Legend


obviously i need to clean up my song library. Bei Feng Chui Guo De Xia Tian?! seriously wtf